Issue #7: The Pirate Issue (Autumn 2007)

Guest-edited by John Joseph Adams, this special themed issue contains ten swashbuckling stories, our interview with the creator of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and is illustrated throughout by James Owen. Avast! Featuring stories by Jeremy Tolbert, James L. Cambias, and Marissa K. Lingen.

John Joseph Adams was invited by the editors at Shimmer to be the editor, and his skills at choosing good stories that have plots, characters, and are under 5000 words shows through. –Grasping for the Wind.

Check out the trailer:  Pirate Issue Preview.

Buy your copy today!

Table of Contents

The Sweet Realm by Jill Snider Lum

The inlet shoreline beside the sloop Pearl tilted to an unnatural angle, and Edward Teach began to feel strangely detached from himself. Oddly, as though he dreamt, he saw the Navy lieutenant turning over a dead body that lay on the deck, and recognized the body as his own.

“Round up the rest of these damned freebooters,” the lieutenant said to a passing ensign. “They’ll come easy now that Blackbeard’s gone.”

“Most of them will,” Teach said. “They’re easy to sway, the snot-brained apes.” But no one heard him, and it didn’t seem important just now. He turned his glance from the retreating ensign and watched the lieutenant examine the blood-soaked body on the deck.

Read the rest for free!

Captain Blood’s B00ty by Jeremiah Tolbert

Captain Blood, ‘leet most high of the Mystical Order of the Buccaneers, was dead. Or so said a daemon-posted blog post on his hidden website at 4:42 PM. And whether it was true or just some hacker hoax, it was major bad news either way. Either he was dead, and that sucked, or our enemies had cracked his defenses and wanted everyone to believe he was dead.

I logged in to my desktop and checked the status of my firewall sprogs—all clear—then started hitting the tracker sites looking for weapons. One of the Swedish-scene cabals had uploaded a Truename-enabled summoning sprog for a daemon from the Malleficus, so I jumped on the torrent and watched it trickle down to my hard drive. I tried connecting to my cabal’s IM server to see what our plan was, but the server timed out.

Read the rest for free!

A Hand for Each by J. Kathleen Cheney

I dreamed of screaming. I came to, pinned on the deck in darkness and sheeting rain, the ship rolling under heavy seas. I could only see heavenward, rain splattering to occlude my vision, so I could not tell what had befallen my shipmates. I heard not a single voice calling for action on the deck.

I could scarcely breathe for the weight on my chest. Cooky’s body had been my saving grace, for though in death he pinned me to that spot, his blubber had shielded me from the eyes of the islanders. The smell of his emptied bowels sickened me and I strove to push his body off me. I waited until a swell pitched the ship to larboard and used that momentum to aid my efforts.

The Blackguard of God by Melinda Selmys

“Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. It be a week since me last confession, and in that time I lardered three o’ the finest ships on the brine, plundered their holds, and put to the sword all who wouldn’t join me crew. I took me troll to a village on the sea, and I confess it, Father, I availed meself o’ the female company—they were mostly willing, this time, Father, and none of them virgins, that I can attest. I blackened the name o’ God ’till me lips were blue as the billows, and sacked a fleet on Sunday, right as you was raising up the Host. I put t’shame all me mother’s tears, and me father’s ghost be uprooted from the grave. I ’scripted me soul to the devil for a turn in the wind. I sold an innocent to the slaughterers to ’scape the hangman’s necklace, and I believe I might’ve eyed me brother’s daddle o’ podge to see if he’d got a better bit o’ meat.”

“You missed one,” said the priest.

Come to the Islands by Mikal Trimm

Erik found the coin at water’s edge as he drifted down the beach in Tobago. He should’ve been back at the hostel with his wife and their friends, sipping sweet cane-sugar-and-rum-laced coffee while listening to the night-black men practicing on their steel drums in the distance, and making comments about the natives—you realize it took me two days to figure out they’re speaking English here? God, could there be any more rotting fruit on this island? What the hell meat did they serve us this morning, and what’s with the blue potatoes?

Instead, he’d found himself awake with the first hints of dawn, his headache from the previous night’s overindulgence still ricocheting between the fast-eroding walls of his skull. Maybe a walk will help, and he’d grabbed at that ridiculous thought like a man walking the plank and hoping the sword at his back turned out to be cardboard.

An Inconvenient Pirate: Interview with the Founder of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by Jen West

Wearing full pirate regalia while sailing the high seas could reduce the effects of global warming, earthquakes, and hurricanes. Or so the followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster believe.

The Barbary Shore by James L. Cambias

David Arnold sat in a king-sized hotel bed and watched for his next prize. As “Captain Black” the space pirate he had five fan sites on the Web and at least as many highly secure law enforcement sites devoted to tracking him. He was twenty-six years old and the absolute gold-anodized titanium pinnacle of the techno-badass pyramid.

On his laptop screen he saw a tiny bright dot rising above Mare Smythii: a booster carrying four tons of helium-3. A treasure ship, worth two billion dollars on the spot market. It was a Westinghouse cargo from the American base at Babcock, on course for the Micronesia drop zone. “Ship ho, me hearties,” David said.

Pirates by Adeline Thromb Age 8 by Marissa K. Lingen

Pirates are offten found in the South China Seas, the Spanish Maine, the Caribbean, and other places more interesting than Wisconsin.

They might show up anywhere though. You never know.

REALLY YOU DON’T EVEN THOUGH SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY NEVER EVER COME HERE THOSE PEOPLE ARE WRONG

The Furies by Rajan Khanna

The Furies came upon us in the light of a clear morning.

We were out of Tortuga, heading west with a good wind, our stomachs full for the time being, our eyes eager for any prize. The Mandrake was riding low in the water, heavy with loot. To be truthful, we were feeling a bit proud of ourselves, from the captain down to the lowliest deck hand.

She came in like a whisper of silk. I didn’t know her then, but the Harpy was aptly named, a fierce, predatory ship. Upon her prow was no maiden of the sea, but a demon succubus, crowned with horns above a cruel, fanged mouth. Gazing upon it, I felt that she would devour us, swallowing us into some hellfire abyss.

The Perfect Hook by Justine Graykin

At first she thought it must be the actor from the play, taking a stroll between acts. But it wasn’t. The actor in the play was adequate. The character who stood before her was tall and grand and absolutely perfect. From his plumed hat to his cuffed, polished black boots; the scarlet coat trimmed with gold braid and brass buttons to the white lace cuffs of his shirt hanging from the sleeves; the black leather belt with the sword hanging from it to his face with the wickedly arched black brows, curling mustache and neat black beard, and the long, glossy, sable curls of his hair. And of course, from the end of his right arm, that shining curve of silver.

“Captain Hook,” she breathed.

“At your service,” he replied with a gallant bow, sweeping off his hat. His long curls nearly touched the flagstones.

Hard Times for Bartleby Crow by Grant Stone

Bartleby Crow ran his tongue over his lips and grimaced. One of his teeth had been chipped, probably when that jailer son-of-a-bitch had thrown him down the stairs. At least it didn’t hurt as much as his right wrist. Manacles held him tightly and the skin beneath was already rubbed raw. When they’d chained him here, he’d groaned. Not because of pain, but simply because it was so predictable.

“Please tell me this is some kind of joke,” he’d said, “you cannot mean to imprison me here. This isn’t a prison, it’s a pantomime set. Should I change into my striped pajamas, or will you see to that later?” The jailer, whose tongue had been removed several years earlier following an ill-judged remark about the emir’s wife, made no reply.

The Barbary Shore—James L. Cambias is a writer and game designer. Originally from the pirate haven of New Orleans, he now lives in pirate-infested western Massachusetts. He is a partner in Zygote Games, a small publisher of science-based card and board games. His fiction has appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction, The Journal of Pulse-Pounding Narratives, and original story anthologies. He prefers the term “privateer.”

A Hand for Each—J. Kathleen Cheney is a former teacher and has taught mathematics ranging from 7th grade to Calculus. She is currently taking a sabbatical to concentrate on writing, and some of her works have been published in Baen’s Universe, Between Kisses and The Sword Review. She is a member of the Carpe Libris Writers Group, Broad Universe, and the Oklahoma Speculative Fiction Syndicate. Her website can be found at jkathleencheney.com

The Perfect Hook—Justine Graykin majored in Philosophy and English with a minor in Religious Studies, co-founded and edited a radical underground ‘zine in the eighties, then did the married-six-cats-two-dogs-ditto-kids thing. Above all, she is a writer. To know the writer, read the writing. That is what matters.

The Furies—Rajan Khanna lives in New York with his cats, Chloe and Muppet. In addition to writing fiction, Rajan also writes songs and plays the piano and the guitar. He hasn’t touched the saxophone in years. This is his first publication.

Pirates by Adeline Thromb Age 8—Marissa Lingen lives in Minnesota with two large men and one small dog. She is currently working on a fantasy novel whose protagonist is the Evil Regent. There is less hand-rubbing and evil laughter than you might expect. But only a little less.

The Sweet Realm—Jill Snider Lum lives in Toronto, Canada, with a husband who believes cats are evil aliens and a son currently obsessed with building starships out of Lego. She has worked as a gemologist, a computer programmer, a historical interpreter, and a janitor, and enjoys writing about things that are unusual or amusing, preferably both at once.

The Blackguard of God—Melinda Selmys has at various times lived in the woods as a hermit, reformed the Ontario electoral system, dated a fallen angel, opened a homeless shelter, home-schooled children and made food fit for the beatific vision. Her favorite Vatican document is Mulieris Dignitatem and her favorite poisonous mushroom is Amanita Muscaria. She writes from Etobicoke.

Hard Times for Bartleby Crow—Grant Stone lives in Auckland, New Zealand with his wife and two daughters. At the impressionable age of 11, he was introduced to the Apple II computer and the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant, thereby sealing both his professional and literary fates. He sometimes blogs at http://d1sc0r0b0t.blogspot.com. This is his first publication.

Captain Blood’s B00ty—Jeremiah Tolbert is a webaddicted nerd living in Colorado. He knows absolutely nothing at all about real internet piracy, whether of a magical or mundane nature. His writing has previously appeared in Interzone, the Fantasy anthology, and All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories. Seriously, he doesn’t know anything at all about bittorrents or P2P networking, so quit bringing it up.

Come to the Islands—Mikal Trimm writes speculative fiction and poetry, and his works have appeared (or will soon appear) in a multitude of venues including the Polyphony anthos, Strange Horizons, Black Gate, Weird Tales, and Interfictions. He can also give you a sordid story about one of the Shimmer editors after a certain WFC party…

An Inconvenient Pirate—Jen West is a freelance writer. She’s sold numerous interviews, articles and features to various newspapers, magazines and websites, including a previous interview co-written with her husband, Ken Scholes, in Shimmer‘s Summer 2006 issue. She currently resides with Ken and two pudgy cats in St. Helens, OR where she is always looking for that next interesting character or story to introduce to the world.

Aliette de Bodard’s story, Within the City of the Swan, appears in the Art Issue of Shimmer. To learn more about Aliette, visit her website, or drop her an email here!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
The idea was given to me by Mary Robinette Kowal, who offered me to take part in the Shimmer Art issue–short stories inspired by pieces of art. The illustration I was given featured two women facing away from each other; and at the centre, in a slight haze, were a gigantic swan, a naked woman hanging from the railing of a staircase–and the staircase leading away from the foreground, becoming a road towards a city with tall white buildings.

What bothered me the most was the naked woman. I was pretty confident I could fit all the other elements into the story, but I don’t normally do naked women. The “hanging from railing” suggested danger of a kind, but why would she be naked? I turned ideas around and around, trying to find the right one.

Until one day I thought, maybe she’s naked because she has to. Maybe she’s naked because her power is somewhere within her body. That gave me Jaya, whose blood held the power of the Prophet. Then I moved to the Swan, and came up with the idea that the Swan had been protecting the city since times immemorial–but it hadn’t, really, because Jaya was in danger?

After that, things pretty much came together quickly: I had my invaders–Serwen’s army–, my narrator–someone who knew Jaya, but who didn’t have her awesome power–and the setting–a city watched over by the Swan.

How did the story change as you developed it?
This went through a number of drafts. I gave it to a writer friend, Marshall Payne, so he could give me his opinion on it. “Too confusing”, he said, so I hacked and hacked at the plot until it was more easily understandable. Then I sent it for crits, and everybody agreed on wanting more of Jaya’s POV–perhaps even Jaya as a main character. I wasn’t overly fond of that option, so I gave it to my boyfriend for a second read. And he said: “you know, right now, you’re opening and closing with Jaya’s POV. It gives people the impression that she’s going to be important–but she isn’t, really. Start with Analea.” And he was completely right. I cut the bits of Jaya’s POV that sandwiched the story, and all of a sudden this was Analea’s story.

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
I don’t generally write stories with invading armies and swords–not to mention stories that rely mostly on action. So in that sense this was an experiment.
Things that don’t change: I hate predictable plots, so I managed to squeeze in a couple of twists.

Questions About Writing:

What writing projects are you presently working on?
Several short stories–there’s always one waiting to be written, called into being by a word or an image or a weird thing I read in an article. An epic fantasy novel, “Phoenix Rising” which I’m revising with various degrees of success.

What authors, if any, have had the most influence on your work?
Le Guin. The Earthsea Quartet were the first SF books in English I read, and I remain awed by her command of the English language, as well as by the way she manages to neatly overturn fantasy tropes in an epic fantasy plot.

Orson Scott Card. First, because of Ender’s Game and Speaker for the Dead, two of the best SF books I’ve ever read. And second, because he wrote a little book called How to write Fantasy and Science Fiction, which I found in the library one day–and which convinced me that I could try to be a writer, too.

Favorite short story you’ve read recently?
Sparrow and Egg, in the Winter 2007 issue of Shimmer.

What people have helped you the most with your writing?
My boyfriend, Matthieu, who doubles as my first reader. My sister, who read my first and much of my second novel and didn’t go bang her head against a wall *g*

What time of day do you prefer to do your writing?
Early evening–I have a day job which forces me to get at 6:30 am, so I have little choice on the time of day.

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
I’m a Star Wars Geek (and I used to make up stories set in the Star Wars Universe. Good thing I grew out of this, though).

If you could trade places with anyone, who would it be? And why?
I’m fine where I am. I think I’ll stay.

Tell us about one place in your hometown that you love to visit and would recommend to others.
In Paris? The Latin Quarter. Lots of medieval buildings, plus the best bookshops around–and some pretty nice restaurants when you need to take a rest from the sightseeing.

What was the last CD you bought? The last song you downloaded?
Hum. No idea. I don’t buy CDs often. *goes off to look at her shelves* Ah. The Secret Songs of the Mayas by Tonana. They’re Maya poems set to music. Very nice, and very suitable music for writing.

If you could hop on a plane tomorrow and go anywhere, where would you go and why?
Mexico. I gotta see those pyramids and those Maya/Toltec/Mixtec/… ruins.

Cat or dog person? (or birds, iguanas, or ??)
Dogs. Large ones, sadly, so as I’m a dedicated city dweller that probably means I’ll never own one.

Mikal Trimm’s story, Come to the Islands, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer. To learn more about Mikal, visit his website or drop him an email here!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
I spent a week in Tobago as a teenager, and this seemed like a good excuse to use free knowledge (as opposed to the type you need to do research for…heh.)

How did the story change as you developed it?
Somewhere along the line, it actually turned into a story — I certainly wouldn’t bandy words like ‘developed’ around, as it makes it sound like I knew what I was doing…

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger?
Cut? What is this word, ‘cut’?

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
I’m sorry, that’s two questions. If you really cared, you’d decide which one was more important to you. Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were just using pre-generated questions!

Questions About Writing:

What writing projects are you presently working on?
This questionnaire — it’s pretty daunting, let me tell you!

Favorite book you’ve read recently?
Blackburn, by Bradley Denton — a fellow Texas writer.

What fictional character would you love to drink tea with?
The Mad Hatter. Duh.

How long had you been submitting before you made your first sale?
When I started seriously submitting work (about six years or so ago), I sold my first story to its first market. Life was simple, then. Sniff.

How did you celebrate your first sale?
By making another sale shortly afterward. Those were the days…

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
I’m actually one of Mary’s puppets.

If you had a working time machine what advice would you give a younger self?
This time, avoid the redheads — they’re trouble.

Favorite food?
You offering to cook?

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Younger.

What was the most fun you ever had?
I’m sorry. I’m married now, and my wife might read this.

If you have a day job, what is it? What do you like about it?
I don’t like to talk about The Bad Place…

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Please explain your answer:
One. But who knows what the writer will turn it into?

Melinda Selmys’s story, The Blackguard of God, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
Sitting in the basement with a friend who was applying to seminary, we naturally fell to discussing what the oddest things you might encounter on the other side of the confessional grille might be. Piracy was an obvious contribution to the conversation.

How did the story change as you developed it?
My original attempt to write this was a mess: it involved time travel, a ghost ship, and much head-beating-against-the-wall in an attempt to come up with an ending. My husband told me to rewrite it, and to develop the original inspiration instead of bogging it down with extraneous complications. Very good advice.

The second version got edited and sent off, but the Dred Captain Adams didn’t like the ending, because it made the story read like an extended joke. He was right. The new ending is much better.

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger?
There are probably some things in the old version that I would find I liked if I went back and read it, but I was mostly just happy to be able to produce a version that I liked, and that didn’t have so many problems. So, no, it didn’t really hurt to cut any of it.

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
It’s a lot sillier than most of what I write. It has less psychology and description, more dialogue and action.

QUESTIONS ABOUT WRITING:

How did you celebrate your first sale?
This is my first sale. We got a bottle of champagne, wrote a letter to the ex-seminarian friend who inspired the piece (he became a monk instead of a priest, and is therefore not easily reachable by telephone), and went to the toy store and bought some Knight and Minotaur figures. We say they’re for the kids. No one who knows us is deceived.

Does your work tend to explore any particular themes?
Insanity, gender, the dignity of the human person, and God are probably the top contenders. An inordinate number of my stories reference Homer or the Bible — not from a pretentious desire to imitate pre-twentieth-century poets, but because I named my sons Solomon and Ulysses.

What people have helped you the most with your writing?
My husband, who is absolutely committed to helping me improve my writing skills, spends a ridiculous amount of time studying technique and archetypes so that he can teach me and I can get on with writing instead of wading through books about writing, and who does all the market research to try to sell what I write. Second is my friend Neil, who reads and critiques everything I write, and cites reading the complete version of my novel as the only attraction that makes him hope that he won’t be gathered up into heaven before it’s finished.

Favorite book you’ve read recently?
Recently: Les Miserables — though I wish Hugo had a more ruthless editor.
All time favourite: The Brothers Karamazov.
I don’t read fantasy (apart from Tolkien), because I fear becoming obviously derivative. If you steal your ideas from Robert Jordan, everyone will notice. If you steal them from Herodotus, people will either think you’re original or clever.

RANDOM QUESTIONS:

If you have a day job, what is it? What do you like about it?
My day job is raising and homeschooling four small children. It’s tremendously interesting, because all children are born utterly unique, but also quite malleable, so it’s a combination of discovery and formation — much like writing is when it’s really inspired. You have to think about what things to teach: what’s essential, what’s appropriate to this child, what’s the best way to communicate different types of knowledge. It’s amazing to realize how much a child can learn, and I find that I learn a lot myself teaching things that should be basic, but aren’t taught in most schools.

Favourite food?
Either sushi or eggplant parmesian.

What are some of your hobbies?
Cooking, literary criticism, board games, philosophy and German toys (particularly Playmobil.)

All-time favourite movie?
Andrei Rublev.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A Crone. With lots of wrinkles, and a head like a dandelion gone to seed. Miss Marple with great-grandchildren.

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Please explain your answer:
None. The light goes out. You stumble in the dark and work by the light of the computer screen. You jot down a note about lightbulbs on a scrap of paper, and promptly lose it. You get used to working in the dark. Occasionally, you think “I should change that light bulb.” Eventually, the light starts working again. Either it’s a miracle, or someone else did it for you.

Marissa Lingen’s story, “Pirates by Adeline Thromb Age 8,” appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer.  She’s also been published in our Clockwork Jungle Book (Issue #11) with her story “Kay’s Box” (you can read her interview about that story here).   To read more about Marissa, please visit her website or write her an email!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
Well, I talked to John Joseph Adams about the upcoming theme issue at World Fantasy Con. I walked away from the conversation thinking, “Neat. Too bad I will never have any pirate stories.” And then I got on the plane home and fell asleep, and when I woke up, there was the story.

How did the story change as you developed it?
Most of my stories do that, but this one didn’t. It sprang full-grown from my head.

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
It’s like my other work in that I am allergic to taking myself too seriously. It’s different in…um…just about every other regard, I think.

Questions About Writing:

What writing projects are you presently working on?
I am alternating work on a space opera with work on a story from the Evil Regent’s point of view.

Are you satisfied with traditional labels for genre fiction? Do words like “speculative,” “slipstream,” and, for that matter, “genre” cover it? What would you suggest?
I think they’re circular: they cover it for the people for whom they cover it. Other people interact with fiction on orthogonal axes to these and get very frustrated with genre. Generally I think of my stories as much less interstitial than other people do. Perhaps this is because I am not very bright, but I also think it might be because I think fantasy can do a great deal, so it’s very hard to disqualify something from being a fantasy story, to my way of thinking. I am interested in things that are genuinely interstitial, but I don’t want it to come to mean “fantasy that’s a little weird,” because fantasy is allowed to be a little weird.

Do you have a specific food or drink that you consider a writing staple?
I often start writing at breakfast-time, and I usually have a flour tortilla spread with Nutella for breakfast, so that might count. Otherwise no.

Do you work with a critique or writers group?
Not a formal one at the time I’m answering this questionnaire. I have friends to whom I hand stories, and friends who hand stories to me. There was some conversation with a guy about a thing; by the time this story hits publication, that may be reality.

It’s been said that readers can be divided into two groups: those who like The Iliad and those who like The Odyssey. Which camp are you in?
I am in those who like the Kalevala and the Prose Edda. (Not that I have anything against the Poetic Edda.) I am not unfond of The Iliad and The Odyssey, but they don’t make my bones vibrate the same way.

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
I fear the deaths of my loved ones. Wait, that’s not secret at all. Even less so now that I told you, because you’ll just blab it in your magazine. Oh, thanks a lot. Now I have to go find a new dark secret.

Have you ever eaten a crayon? Tell us about it.
No. Well, the last time I didn’t eat a crayon was about a minute ago. My tongue felt slightly bumpy and minty and devoid of crayon-like presence. Pretty much like the time before that when I didn’t eat a crayon, and so on back, pretty much as far as I can remember.

Fast food: Yea or Nay?
Not so much. Unless it’s pizza. Then maybe.

All-time favorite movie?
At this moment? Sneakers. At some other moment it will be something different.

What are some of your hobbies?
I bake things. I hike. I always have difficulty labeling things as hobbies, so I tell people I don’t have any, and then the people who know me argue with me.

Is there anything that you would sell your soul for?
Probably, but nothing is coming to mind. But that’s how it always works, isn’t it? You never think that your best friend is going to have her soul tied to a flea-bitten monkey in the lowest pits of hell, and then suddenly it happens. It’s a shame, too, because it’s the sort of situation you want to have thought through before you have to answer it, and yet it’s never the scenario you thought through. Now my friend will be safe from hell-monkeys and it’ll be something else like my great-aunt having severe winged-giraffe troubles. And won’t I feel foolish for having prepared for the monkeys.

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
At my house, zero. I am six inches shorter than the next shortest person who lives here. So he changes the lightbulbs.

Justine Graykin’s story, The Perfect Hook, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer. To learn more about Justine, check out her website or drop her an email here!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
The inspiration for “The Perfect Hook” came from an actual outing with my family to see “Peter Pan” performed by a local theater group in Prescott Park in Portsmouth, NH. My younger son did indeed come up with the line “Learn to be a parent and recite a silly rule” which I used in the story. And he did run around the park releasing clouds of bubbles to everyone’s delight. Much of the detail is autobiographical, although I confess I have not been invited by Captain Hook to visit Never Land.

How did the story change as you developed it?
The first draft was much longer. I generally regard my first drafts as “brain dumps”, during which I pour out everything that occurs to me. Then I go back to trim and condense, cooking the story down like a rich stew.

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger? May we link to a very old version so that we may marvel at how much it changed?
Oh, absolutely! I’ve posted the original submission at graykin.info. I had already slashed quite a bit from it before the editor, John Joseph Adams, got hold of it. He gently but firmly requested that I fire a character I call the Parrot Lady. It was with deep regret that I served her notice, but she had to go. I am one of those freakish specimens of writer which enjoys revision, and welcomes criticism. I can also be very mulish, and I will dig my heels in if I think an editor’s revisions to my story do it damage. (I’ve lost a sale over such a battle.) On the other hand, being asked to make a change can provide a challenge to come up with something better, and I believe this story is an excellent example of that.

How is this story like your other work?
Most of my work has speculative elements, the “what if?” premise. I frequently have a message embedded in my stories, in this case, “Somebody has to be the mother—and proud of it.” But I also try to use humor to lighten things up. Even my most deadly dark and serious work (which I don’t do much of) has at least moments of irony, if not humor. I do not care for excessive violence or sexual wallowing, and I find the less one uses foul language the more effective it is when you do. My kids could read this, and most of my other work, without encountering anything inappropriate.

How is it different?
It’s so domestic and family-oriented. My characters are generally loners, misfits, extraordinary in some way. I also tend to write romances. A number of my short stories and novels are built around some improbable relationship between two quirky people (or creatures) in weird situations. (Well, maybe that applies to “Perfect Hook” after all.) I’ve also been accused of being terribly political. And much of my work ventures far further into the fantastic. But not unicorns. Never unicorns.

Questions About Writing:

What writing projects are you presently working on?
I have a couple of novels that I toggle back and forth on, revising and improving (did I mention I enjoy revising?) plus an assortment of short stories that I keep fiddling with and then sending out in hopes of a sale. Samples are posted on my website. Plus I write assorted articles for the local paper and an online publication.

Favorite book you’ve read recently?
Just finished Agatha Christie’s The Unexpected Guest. Corker of a mystery. I also enjoyed Susanna Clarke’s Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.

What fictional character would you love to drink tea with?
Jean-Luc Picard. Earl Grey. Hot.

How long had you been submitting before you made your first sale?
I started getting serious about submitting about four years ago. But two part-time jobs and a family leave little free time to do the research and grunt work that goes along with finding a market. Besides, when I do have the time, I’d much rather write. So it took me this long to finally score. Oh, you didn’t know? This is my first sale.

How did you celebrate your first sale?
Champagne, of course.

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
If I told you, it would no longer be a secret, would it?

If you had a working time machine what advice would you give a younger self?
Quit partying and get busy. Just writing great stuff ain’t gonna get it published.

Favorite food?
Mostly what isn’t good for me.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
That presumes I haven’t.

What was the most fun you ever had?
I’m not sure, but it probably involved drugs and/or alcohol.

If you have a day job, what is it? What do you like about it?
I am employed part-time as a librarian. I like being around books and people who like books. However, it does have it’s downside: I am confronted daily with the conundrum, “With so much crap getting published, why can’t I get my foot in the door?” Never mind. I will. In fact, with “The Perfect Hook”, the camel’s nose has poked under the tent.

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Please explain your answer:
Only one; they know what to do because chances are they’ve had to research the subject for a story. However, first they have to notice the lightbulb needs changing; they won’t realize it’s getting dark until they shut down the computer.

Jill Snider Lum’s story, The Sweet Realm, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer. To learn more about Jill, drop her an email here!

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
he life of Blackbeard interested me, because the more I read about him, the more I wondered why he had such a reputation for being merciless and bloodthirsty. Then, for reasons I don’t understand, I imagined him encountering a particular sea-monster from an illustration by Hicaru Tanaka. The Lobster is quite different from that sea-monster, of course, but I picture the Lobster with similar claws, and a similar expression on its face.

How did the story change as you developed it?
Initially it was more like a series of vignettes, and it included scenes from Blackbeard’s life in which he talks with the Lobster, which no one else can see. As a story it was pretty wretched, but I wasn’t certain why. The Cecil Street Writers’ Group helped me identify specific problems with it, and from there I was able to re-write it, minus the wretchedness.

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger?
Believe me, you don’t want to read the previous version. It needed killin’.

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
I’ve never written about pirates before, nor about a historical person, so that’s different. But as with most other things I’ve written, the characters made their impression on me before their story did, and that impression was a little… strange. I find it difficult to write stories in which all the main characters are normal.

Questions About Writing:

When did you know you wanted to be a writer?
As soon as I knew what one was.

Who do you write for? Yourself or someone else?
I really prefer to like what I’m writing and enjoy the process; it seems to help me produce better work. But I definitely write for the audience. If I were the last person left on earth, I wouldn’t bother.

Who’s your favorite living author?
Barbara Michaels/Barbara Mertz/Elizabeth Peters. Especially when she writes under her first two incarnations.

Favorite book read when you were a child?
The Crystal Cave, by Mary Stewart. Gaudy Night, by Dorothy L. Sayers. Swallows and Amazons, by Arthur Ransome.

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
If I tell you, it won’t be a secret anymore…

Do you believe in ghosts or the supernatural? Why?
I believe in unexplained phenomena, because people witness them occurring. But I’m not sure I believe they’re supernatural. They may be just currently unexplained. In a sense, I’d like there to be real ghosts… but then they’d scare me to death, and I’d worry about becoming one after I died.

Favorite restaurant?
Gio Rana’s Really Really Nice Restaurant, also called “The Nose”, on Queen Street East in downtown Toronto. The food is great, there are lots of different wines, and the sign for the restaurant is just this big three-dimensional nose sticking out over the door.

Do you have a secret skill that you never get to show off?
I can say rude things in Latin. Not sure if that’s really a skill.

Watch much TV? What’s good these days?
Don’t watch much, but when I do, I like ‘Numb3rs’, ‘Heroes’, ‘Lost’, and documentaries about ancient history, particularly Egyptian. And old black-and-white movies, especially with Vincent Price in them.

Do you check your horoscope?
Not with any seriousness. It usually just gives me lectures, anyway.

Jeremiah Tolbert’s story, Captain Blood’s B00ty, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer. To learn more about Jeremiah, check out his website or drop him a note.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
I wanted to do the electronic piracy thing for the special issue, rather than the traditional Caribbean thing, and I had been reading a lot of BoingBoing lately. I wondered suddenly what it would be like if magic was real, and just information like music or television shows are. Of course there would be people who wanted to pirate it, and thus people who wanted to control it. From there, the story wrote itself. With hours and hours of work on my part. So strike that last part, I guess. It wouldn’t be much fun if they wrote themselves anyway.

How did the story change as you developed it?
It ended up being goofier than I expected. And nerdier. But I should have expected that.

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger?
I had to cut some of the roommate banter that I loved. It saddens me. I could write roommate banter all day. College was awesome.

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
It is similar to my other work, in the sense that it involves lovable geeks getting into trouble. It is different in that it involves no giant monsters terrorizing the Midwest. Maybe next time.

QUESTIONS ABOUT WRITING:

How did you celebrate your first sale?
I don’t remember. I woke up a week later in a Tijuana jail cell, naked, and covered in gold body paint. If anyone saw me the week of February 18th, 2002, please shoot me an email.

Does your work tend to explore any particular themes?
It tends to be positive about technology and science, rather than negative, and it tends to celebrate geeks and nerds. Often, it’s about the American Midwest, where I’m from. And sometimes, it’s about biology and sex, which are the same thing.

What people have helped you the most with your writing?
Everyone in the Online Writing Workshop for F&SF has been great. Editor John Joseph Adams was one of the earliest supporters of my work. My wife reads everything I write and rarely complains. My coffee shop barista who keeps filling my pots of tea and never asks me why I don’t go home.

Favorite book you’ve read recently?
I’m mostly reading comic books these days. American Born Chinese was fantastic. I highly recommend it.

RANDOM QUESTIONS:

If you have a day job, what is it? What do you like about it?
I am a web designer. I like that I basically get paid to draw stuff in Photoshop all day. I like that I don’t have to use words very often, and that I get to read a lot of web pages, ostensibly for “inspiration.”

Favourite food?
Meat. I’m not picky within that category..

What are some of your hobbies?
Primarily, I take photographs and build websites. I play video games, role-playing games, and board games a few times a week. I watch a lot of SF television, especially British stuff. I go on late night walks in the fog. Is that a hobby? I’m not sure what constitutes a hobby anymore. I don’t really collect anything… guess that’s about it then.

All-time favourite movie?
Donnie Darko is what I am saying today. Ask me again tomorrow.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Buckaroo Bonzai. Only cooler.

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Please explain your answer:
None. One spouse, because the writer has been on the computer for eight hours and has been asked about six million times and just keeps saying “yes dear” and never stops typing, oh god, why didn’t I listen to my mother and marry an accountant?

Grant Stone’s story, Hard Times for Bartleby Crow, appears in the Summer 2007 issue of Shimmer. For more information on Grant, visit his website here or drop him a note.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE STORY:

Where did the idea come from?
Frustration. I’d been working on a different story for quite some time and it was proceeding very slowly. When I reached the halfway point on that, it felt like I couldn’t see the end. So as a confidence booster, I thought I’d write something small and fun. And really, what could be more fun than pirates?

How did the story change as you developed it?
There wasn’t a lot of change in the writing, except for where the story ended. Which I’ll explain below…

You know the advice “Sometimes you have to kill your darlings.” Was there a scene or line that it really hurt to cut, but cutting it made the story stronger?
In this story, it wasn’t so much a case of killing darlings as saving scoundrels. I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but in its original version, the story ended a lot earlier. The part where Bartleby is left to die was where everything stopped. I had feedback from early readers that this was too cruel. While I could see their point, I didn’t think Bartleby being rescued was appropriate. So I had to come up with a new ending that preserved the events of the original but provided some hope. Interestingly, the new ending has given me an idea for a sequel…

How is this story like your other work? How is it different?
Although I like to think I write fantasy, this story is probably the closest I’ve come to a traditional fantasy story. The other stories I’ve sold have contemporary settings, and one in particular is far darker and more violent.

Questions About Writing:

What writing projects are you presently working on?
More short stories. At the time of writing this I have another two in second draft and two more are begging to be written. I’m dedicating all of this year and the next to short stories. After that I’ll decide if it’s time to approach the dreaded novel.

Favorite book you’ve read recently?
I’m a huge Michael Moorcock fan and I’ve been working my way through the entire Eternal Champion series. I just read the first two Oswald Bastable books, The Warlord of the Air and The Land Leviathan and they’re absolutely terrific. I’m currently reading The Religion by Tim Willocks. I loved his earlier novels (Green River Rising, Blood-Stained Kings and Bad City Blues). This one’s very different, but it’s still a powerful read.

What fictional character would you love to drink tea with?
Tyrion from George R R Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire series would be an interesting guy to sit down with. Or possibly Yossarian from Catch-22.

How long had you been submitting before you made your first sale?
About seven months. I decided to try and write for submission at the start of last year. I started submitting in July and had my first sale this February.

How did you celebrate your first sale?
I don’t know if I really did, but I wandered around in a daze for a couple of weeks. Hm. Perhaps I should celebrate that now…

Random Questions:

What is your darkest secret?
I tell everyone my favorite show is either Deadwood or Doctor Who, but really it’s Gilmore Girls.

If you had a working time machine what advice would you give a younger self?
I probably wouldn’t do something clever like give advice to before-me. Instead, I’d follow before-me around wearing some kind of future suit (probably sparkly silver spandex). Every few days I’d jump out in front of me, waggle my fingers and say “Oooooh! Spooky future! Oogy boogie boogie!”

Eventually, before-me would get a restraining order against me, I guess.

Favorite food?
There’s no way I can pick just one. I can say that anything tastes better if you add Kaitaia Fire and Japanese mayonnaise.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
All my life I’ve wanted to write software and write stories. Since I do both now, does that make me grown up? Hopefully not.

If you have a day job, what is it? What do you like about it?
I write software. I love starting with a blank page and ending up with something that works the way it should. It seems to me that programming uses the same muscles as writing: a combination of logic and intuition. I just wish someone would come up with some way to unit test a short story. That could well be the geekiest thing I’ve written for a long time.

Quiz: How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb? Please explain your answer:
Only one, but after the initial success, he’d change it a couple more times, just to fill out the trilogy.

As a writer, what resources have you found to be essential?
Podcasts. There’s absolutely no reason to be listening to those stupid morning show DJs on your way to work any more, when there is so much good audio around. One I highly recommend is Mur Lafferty’s I should be writing. Mur always has great advice and encouragement. And if you want to catch up on classic sci-fi authors you may have missed, check out StarShipSofa. I could list more, but podcasts are like Pringles. It starts with one or two, but before you know it you’re pulling down more than you can listen to