Okay, look. Rejections suck. I know that, you know that. Rejections aren’t personal. However, when you’ve just received rejection number twenty on a story, or you’ve been submitting for ages and nobody’s biting, it can be hard to remember that.
One of the worst ways to deal with a rejection is to write an “Evil Editor” story and submit it. We occasionally get these in the slush. Sometimes they are generic Evil Editors Get Their Comeuppance tales. Other times they’re patterned to a specific editor.
They’re always a bad idea. Here are four reasons why.
1. We Can’t Buy It.
In huge flashing lights, strobed across the underside of midnight clouds like the Bat Signal, the number one reason not to submit an Evil Editor story is this: We can’t and won’t buy it. Not if it’s about the evil editor getting eviscerated by rejected authors. Especially not if it’s about a specific editor –- and extra-especially not if it’s about a specific editor we like (Pro Tip: we like a lot of editors).
And just as a side note… Shimmer is really not a likely place for gory slasher horror stories whether they’ve got editors as the victims or not.
2. It’s a Waste of Your Talent
Look… I once received an Evil Editor story that was really vile and nasty, but well written. It made me sad that the author had spent their writing energy on something that negative and destructive. Time spent writing a hate story that nobody wants to read could be spent writing something you enjoy. Don’t let your reaction to a rejection also steal time from your next story!
3. The Threats Aren’t Funny (even when they are)
Sometimes, Evil Editor stories really are funny. But it doesn’t matter. They look like a threat. Even if it’s kind of hilarious, a story in which a poor downtrodden writer kills or maims the editor who’s been keeping him down is threatening to the editor who has to push the reject button on it. Are you going to totally flip out if we reject you? Should we be worried?
I always hesitate to say, “Oh, nobody should ever write a story about X subject.” However, in this case, you’re better off just not doing it. Even if you have the funniest story idea ever.
4. It’s Unprofessional.
Period. When we buy a story, we’re entering into a business deal. We will be working together. There’s going to be a contract and your story in print and all kinds of goodness. An Evil Editor story makes the editor wonder just how you’ll respond to revision requests or copy-editing.
It’s not a 100% thing. Some editors will not hold it against you on your next submission, in which case, whew! But others will. I figure that it’s best not to take the risk. Even though we have stories about aliens and unicorns, publishing is still a business, and you’re better off acting professionally.
But Rejections DO Suck.
Sure, I’ve received plenty of rejections, myself, but there’s still that come-down after I get each one. It’s easy to feel like the industry is biased against your particular style of writing, but that’s not true. Chances are good that writing has been your dream for a long time. Damn those editors for standing in the way of your dream! Or… don’t.
If you find yourself writing Evil Editor stories to relieve the frustration, it’s time to find some better ways to cope.
I recommend having a set of close friends who are also writers, who also get rejected, and who understand how much it stings.
Even if you know better than to write an Evil Editor story, there’s nothing wrong with getting together with friends and having a vent session. This is a hard business, and sometimes you just want to scream.
Afterward, put your writer hat back on and write your heart out.
Personally, if I am feeling rejected I like to make a heavy metal playlist and listen to that while writing. One of my friends will go for a walk, or go out to dinner with his family. Hey, it might even be a good time to dust off your old copy of Grand Theft Auto.
How about you?
What do you do to get your confidence back after a particularly depressing rejection?
Okay, look. Rejections suck. I know that, you know that. Rejections aren’t personal. However, when you’ve just received rejection number twenty on a story, or you’ve been submitting for ages and nobody’s biting, it can be hard to remember that.
One of the worst ways to deal with a rejection is to write an “Evil Editor” story and submit it. We occasionally get these in the slush. Sometimes they are generic Evil Editors Get Their Comeuppance tales. Other times they’re patterned to a specific editor.
They’re always a bad idea. Here are four reasons why.
- We Can’t Buy It.
In huge flashing lights, strobed across the underside of midnight clouds like the Bat Signal, the number one reason not to submit an Evil Editor story is this: We can’t and won’t buy it. Not if it’s about the evil editor getting eviscerated by rejected authors. Especially not if it’s about a specific editor –- and extra-especially not if it’s about a specific editor we like (Pro Tip: we like a lot of editors).
And just as a side note… Shimmer is really not a likely place for gory slasher horror stories whether they’ve got editors as the victims or not.
- It’s a Waste of Your Talent
Look… I once received an Evil Editor story that was really vile and nasty, but well written. It made me sad that the author had spent their writing energy on something that negative and destructive. Time spent writing a hate story that nobody wants to read could be spent writing something you enjoy. Don’t let your reaction to a rejection also steal time from your next story!
- The Threats Aren’t Funny (even when they are)
Sometimes, Evil Editor stories really are funny. But it doesn’t matter. They look like a threat. Even if it’s kind of hilarious, a story in which a poor downtrodden writer kills or maims the editor who’s been keeping him down is threatening to the editor who has to push the reject button on it. Are you going to totally flip out if we reject you? Should we be worried?
I always hesitate to say, “Oh, nobody should ever write a story about X subject.” However, in this case, you’re better off just not doing it. Even if you have the funniest story idea ever.
- It’s Unprofessional.
Period. When we buy a story, we’re entering into a business deal. We will be working together. There’s going to be a contract and your story in print and all kinds of goodness. An Evil Editor story makes the editor wonder just how you’ll respond to revision requests or copy-editing.
It’s not a 100% thing. Some editors will not hold it against you on your next submission, in which case, whew! But others will. I figure that it’s best not to take the risk. Even though we have stories about aliens and unicorns, publishing is still a business, and you’re better off acting professionally.
But Rejections DO Suck.
Sure, I’ve received plenty of rejections, myself, but there’s still that come-down after I get each one. It’s easy to feel like the industry is biased against your particular style of writing, but that’s not true. Chances are good that writing has been your dream for a long time. Damn those editors for standing in the way of your dream! Or… don’t.
If you find yourself writing Evil Editor stories to relieve the frustration, it’s time to find some better ways to cope.
I recommend having a set of close friends who are also writers, who also get rejected, and who understand how much it stings.
Even if you know better than to write an Evil Editor story, there’s nothing wrong with getting together with friends and having a vent session. This is a hard business, and sometimes you just want to scream.
Afterward, put your writer hat back on and write your heart out.
Personally, if I am feeling rejected I like to make a heavy metal playlist and listen to that while writing. One of my friends will go for a walk, or go out to dinner with his family. Hey, it might even be a good time to dust off your old copy of Grand Theft Auto.
How about you? What do you do to get your confidence back after a particularly depressing rejection?
Are people still writing stories about me?
It’s been over a year since I saw one about you, but I assume the genre is still thriving.
I’ve still (past three months) seen people complaining about your mean and horrible short fiction editing MEANYHEADNESS, so I also doubt we’ve seen the last of them.
Hm, I’ve read thousands of slush submissions and have never experienced the Evil Editor Story. Perhaps Nick should be as sweet and charming as me and people might give him lollipops instead of anger. 😉
Or, maybe, anger lollipops.
Short Fast and Deadly has just done a collection of writer themed stories.
Stephen Schwegler’s “What?!” captures the frustration all writers must feel upon rejection, and Eirik Gumeny’s “RE: Screw You” nicely sums up what every editor would love to say, but never should.
Check it out at:
http://www.shortfastanddeadly.com/issue-42-26-september-2010/